Man entering the water involves one of the most elaborate displays of cowardice ever seen. It is Saddam Hussein in the hole. It is Governor Bligh beneath the bed in Government House. The water here is lovely and warm – virtually a sauna – but the way Man carries on, you’d think he was Mawson on his way to the South Pole.
He takes a few steps into the water, then lets out a screech every time a tiny wave splashes his leg. There’s much yelping and waving of arms. He even stands on tippy-toes when each wave comes in, just to minimise the incredible pain.
“It’s freezing, impossibly cold,” he says to Lady, yelling over a crowd of tiny children, splashing happily about, oblivious to the apparently life-threatening conditions they are enduring.
After 15 minutes of this pathetic display – Man inching forward, screeching in agony, backing off, then momentarily reasserting his courage before falling back one more – even Man is bored with his timidity. He flings himself into a wave, popping up a moment later to shout again to Lady: “Actually, the water is a perfect temperature. Absolutely lovely. I don’t know what people are so scared of. You should come in.”
Lady rolls her eyes, runs into the water, then gracefully dives beneath an incoming wave. “If anything,” she says once she’s surfaced, “it’s a bit warm”.
I take quiet pleasure in having at least one beach companion who doesn’t invite the derision of the crowd.
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Lady completes her swim and returns to the shoreline whereupon she chats with strangers, including some who don’t even have dogs, which seems odd since I can’t imagine how two humans can start a conversation without the starting point of a question about each other’s dog.
The afternoon sails on. We swim and, together, we examine rock pools. I dig a hole then chase a dog who is chasing a ball. I try to eat a bluebottle until Man tells me off. Bathed in the sunshine, we meet many other humans and many other dogs.
All too soon, it’s time to go home.
Back at our “camp”, Man retrieves his car keys from his shoe. “See,” he says to Lady, “I told you this would fool the thieves. It’s such a great method I invented.”
A few minutes later, I jump into the back seat of the car, all wet and sandy, drying myself against the upholstery. I give myself one more good shake, the droplets of water filling the car. Man doesn’t seem to mind. I guess he’s still celebrating his victory over the arctic conditions.
I just know that we’re all going to sleep well tonight.
Hope all is well in the country.
Love, Clancy.
Life’s a beach and then you dive in
Source: Philippines Alive
